


I Told You To Be Fine

by bandsaremyfavorite



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: M/M, skysolo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 16:06:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6086101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandsaremyfavorite/pseuds/bandsaremyfavorite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han meant to leave a message, a note, or come back and explain everything. He really did mean to get back to Luke and the Rebellion. He really did. For a while he even actually tried to get back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Told You To Be Fine

Han feels that tightening, suffocating feeling. The very bad feeling. He’s only really, truly felt it a few times, only one other time was the feeling about himself.

The headset that connects him with others on the line suddenly got much heavier. There’s someone on the line that he should say something to. Say something. 

**Come on skinny love just last the year**  
**Pour a little salt we were never here**  
**My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my  
**Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer****

Han left without saying goodbye because he knew if he tried he wouldn’t be able to leave but he needed to leave. He took most of his things, so that Luke wouldn’t have anything to cling to. Leia he knew would be okay, she was always okay. Luke could get through, but when it came to Han leaving, it was different.

 **I tell my love to wreck it all**  
**Cut out all the ropes and let me fall**  
**My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my  
**Right in the moment this order's tall****

Not even two days later Han got a transmission from the kid. He was busy when it came through so it was just a recording when Han heard it.

“You didn’t have to leave, Han. You’re useful here. You’re wanted here. You’re...Forget it, Han. You wanted to leave the entire time. Get the money and go, not caring that I started to care about you. I meant nothing to you, didn’t I?” The small holographic Luke paused for a second. “We...we meant nothing to you, I mean.”

There was no use speaking or responding because this was a recording, not live. Han meant to leave a message, a note, or come back and explain everything. He really did mean to get back to Luke and the Rebellion. He really did. For a while he even actually tried to get back.

He didn’t mean to come back when they were all about to be blown up.

 **I told you to be patient**  
**I told you to be fine**  
**I told you to be balanced**  
**I told you to be kind**  
**In the morning I'll be with you**  
**But it will be a different "kind"**  
**I'll be holding all the tickets  
**And you'll be owning all the fines****

“Luke,” Han breaths into the headset. 

“Han, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, kid. I’m okay. I’m sorry, though. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be like you or Leia or hell, anything honorable. Worth being your friend.”

“Han, don’t talk like that.”

“I shouldn’t have left like I did. I should have stayed. You would have been worth staying.”

Han never spoke like this. About his emotions.

“Then don’t leave again, Han. Don’t leave like this.”

“I’ll be with you, kid.”

 **I told you to be patient**  
**I told you to be fine**  
**I told you to be balanced**  
**I told you to be kind**  
**Now all your love is wasted?  
**Then who the hell was I?****

Luke lands and runs to where he saw Leia standing not far away from the ships. His sister looks at him with a that face that Luke knows is her not crying. She was good at that, not showing emotion, but Luke knew her better.

“Where’s Han?” Luke asks. “He showed up and he was fighting. Where is he?”

“Luke, I’m sor-”

“No! Where is Han?”

Leia’s lips form a thin line. Han was a lot more to Luke than he was to her, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t lose someone too.

She pulls an envelope out of her coat pocket, hands it to Luke. In messy black ink on the front of it is his name. “He told me to give you this. He was here before he was there to fight, he thought he could catch you before you left.”

“Why are you giving this to me? Whatever is in that letter he can come back and tell me himself.”

Leia gives him a sad look and places the letter in his hand. She gives him a hug and doesn’t say anything as she lets go and walks away to oversee other things.

Luke walks into the base and sits in the first empty command room that he can find. The envelope isn’t sealed so the letter comes out easily.

_Luke,  
I want to make this short because if I don’t I will be rambling for pages. I should never have left you. I think the reason I did was because I knew that I love you and that just wasn’t something I was strong enough to handle in war time._

Luke already has to stop looking at the paper. Han talked about himself in past tense. He knew he wasn’t going to come back.

_You were always so patient with me and everyone really. You forgave me for everything without even really knowing there was a question of forgiving me or not. I really need to you be alright and keep going because even though I wasn’t smart enough to stick around, you’re meant to. You’re meant to save the galaxy. I wish I would have stayed with you._

_You care so much and I wish I had been worthy of that because you were the greatest thing I could have ever had. You were everything._

__

Luke takes a deep breath he didn’t know he hadn’t been taking. He wiped his face and places the letter aside and leans forward with his elbows on his knees.

 **Now I'm breaking at the britches**  
**And at the end of all your lines**  
**Who will love you?**  
**Who will fight?  
**Who will fall far behind?****

_Stay safe, kid. - Han_

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspiration for this from the song 'Skinny Love' by Bon Iver.


End file.
